- How rich are you?
- If you are really, really filthy rich, are you willing to give large chunks of your money to our organization?
- Is anyone in your family married to Bill Gates?
- Would they like to be?
- Are you willing to sleep with anyone in order to secure a grant for our agency?
- Even Bill Gates?
- If you personally have great wealth, is there anyone on the staff you find appealing?
- Do you promise to bring unhealthy and delicious snacks to the board meetings? Vintage wines also acceptable
- What are your reproductive plans?
- Are you going to leave your money to kids who might grow up to marry a Republican or Democrat (underline appropriate choice) or to an agency with a proven track record?
- Have you led a wicked life? If so, were you raised in a shame-based religion? Would you be willing to take a monetary approach at regaining your place in heaven?
- Are you in the witness protection program?
I need CAROL to…
I need CAROL to…
