Questions NOT To Ask When Recruiting Board Members

  1.  How rich are you? 
  2. If you are really, really filthy rich,  are you willing to give large chunks of your money to our organization?
  3.  Is anyone in your family married to Bill Gates? 
  4. Would they like to be?
  5. Are you willing to sleep with anyone in order to secure a grant for our agency?
  6. Even Bill Gates?
  7. If you personally have great wealth, is there anyone on the staff you find appealing?
  8. Do you promise to bring unhealthy and delicious snacks to the board meetings? Vintage wines also acceptable
  9. What are your reproductive plans?
  10. Are you going to leave your money to kids who might grow up to marry a Republican or Democrat (underline appropriate choice) or to an agency with a proven track record?
  11. Have you led a wicked life? If so, were you raised in a shame-based religion?  Would you be willing to take a monetary approach at regaining your place in heaven?
  12. Are you in the witness protection program?

 

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